Challenge: Stopping the Silent Spa Spy
by Count Mallet
Summary: AU one-shot. Inspired by Queen's collaborative "A Spa Story." The challenge: A separatist spy uses an upscale spa as a secret base of operations. Can two clones and their respective padawans find the spy and avoid delightful distractions? Rated Fiction-K plus for minor spa damage. []


**Stopping the Silent Spa Spy.**

A _Star Wars: The Clone Wars_fan fiction by Count Mallet.

**Story Identifier:** S16-F12-O10.

**Synopsis:** Reading Queen's new collaborative story, _A Spa Story_, and the first chapter by. LongLiveTheClones inspired me to write my own version.

The challenge they responded to was: Write a short story where there is a Separatist spy hiding in an upscale spa. The clones have to find the spy while receiving a spa treatment.

**Disclaimers:** Star Wars characters & concepts belong to Lucasfilm Ltd. Soza & Rondo are original characters specific to this story.

* * *

Barriss' unexpected arrival surprised Ahsoka.

"Barriss, what's going on? It's not like you to barge in like that," Ahsoka noted, suspiciously arching her right eye marking.

"I'm sorry, Ahsoka," Barriss apologized, "but I wanted to invite you on a mission you might actually like," she explained.

"Oh, what's that?" Ahsoka inquired curiously.

"Senator Amidala informed us about a Separatist spy. Apparently, the spy is using a spa as a front for covert activity. Gree and I are going. I figured you'd want to come, too," Barriss explained.

"I don't know," Ahsoka answered suspiciously, "what would I do at a spa?" she questioned.

"C'mon, Ahsoka, we never get to do anything girly like this. It will be fun. We get to catch Seppies and look pretty all at once," Barriss urged her colleague.

"Are you sure about this?" Ahsoka asked nervously.

"Master Unduli already received Master Skywalker's permission to include both Rex and you on the mission. Gree and Rex are waiting for us as we speak," Barriss assured Ahsoka.

Ahsoka decided to follow Barriss lead and changed into a different top. She didn't want to look too Jedi-like. But she was **not** going to change her skirt, leggings, or boots.

The pair then proceeded to join their clone troopers to begin the mission.

# # #

Barriss, despite her devotion to the Jedi way, seemed to be enjoying her role in the mission.

"OK, we need to act like convincing couples if we want this to work. Otherwise people will be suspicious of us," Barriss informed the rest of the group. To emphasize her point, she wrapped her arm around Gree's, much to his dismay.

Rex and Ahsoka looked at each other.

"Uhh, Commander Tano, do we have to?" Rex asked awkwardly.

"Don't worry Rex, it won't be for long," Ahsoka answered, doing her best to hide her own nervousness. She took Rex's hand daintily. She silently noted his was much larger than her own, although she had longer, thinner fingers.

The group was greeted by a female Pantoran.

"Greetings, I am Soza. Welcome to the Coco Town Spa of Splendor," Soza greeted the quartet. "How can we serve you today?" she asked politely.

"We'll have manicures and pedicures for the ladies. And, how about a Tatooine Sauna and massage for our partners," Barriss replied calmly.

"What's a Tatooine Sauna?" Gree asked Rex nervously.

"I don't know, but it sure doesn't sound good," Rex admitted.

"Ladies, if you'll follow me," Soza commanded Ahsoka and Barriss. "Gentlemen, Flark here will take you for your sauna," she added.

As the padawans walked with Soza, Ahsoka held onto her head for a moment.

"Ahsoka, what's wrong?" Barriss asked discreetly.

"I have a headache all of a sudden," Ahsoka whispered.

"Oh," Barriss answered quietly, unsure of how else to respond.

Soza took the ladies to a row of chairs. "Once you sit down, slip out of your shoes and we'll get started," she informed the pair.

"Thank the stars my headache is subsiding," Ahsoka sighed.

"That's nice," Barriss replied, removing her boots. "Your turn," she prodded her colleague.

Ahsoka wrinkled her nose. "I may be a Togruta, but I'm not into the whole 'Togruta go barefoot' thing, Barriss," she declared. Ahsoka then took a deep breath and reluctantly took off her long boots.

Soza came back with a couple of water-filled basins.

"Here you go ladies, just stick your feet into these for now," she instructed. Soza then removed a small bottle alongside the chairs and poured a small amount of its liquid into each basin.

"I think **you'll** enjoy this the most," Soza told Ahsoka after pouring the liquid into her basin. Ahsoka was too busy rubbing her head again to answer her hostess.

"Again?" Barriss asked surprisingly.

"Yeah," Ahsoka answered softly. "I don't know why I'm having headaches all of a sudden," she conceded.

# # #

Meanwhile, Rex and Gree had stripped down to their shorts as Flark escorted them to the sauna room.

"Gentlemen, I'll have you stay in here for 15 to 20 minutes. Just let all that stress melt away. I'll be back to arrange for your massage," Flark informed the undercover clone captains.

"Right," both Rex and Gree answered instinctively. "Sorry," they apologized to each other in unison.

"I guess it is true; we're so used to being clone troopers, we don't know how to relax," Gree confessed.

"Right," Rex acknowledged briefly.

"So, what **do** we do here?" Rex asked.

"I hear ladies like to talk about guys. I guess we talk about ladies," Gree suggested.

"We don't know any ladies," Rex answered instinctively.

"Me, I've always wondered if Commander Offee has short or long hair," Gree admitted somewhat sheepishly.

"You should just ask her," Rex stated plainly, as if he was reciting instructions from a field manual.

"We're too busy knocking off clankers to worry about that, my brother," Gree protested.

"Right," Rex realized. "Commander Tano's tail stripes appear to match the blue of my armor," he reluctantly admitted to his comrade.

"See, that wasn't so bad to admit, was it?" Gree coaxed.

"I guess not. I'm so busy keeping General Skywalker in one piece, though. I swear I could use a second captain at times," Rex chuckled, much to Gree's surprise.

# # #

Two Twi'lek women painted Ahsoka's & Barriss' fingernails. They had just finished when Soza started to walk up to the pair of padawans.

"Barriss," Ahsoka whispered as quietly as she could, "I have a hunch, do whatever I ask you," Ahsoka commanded.

"Umm, OK," Barriss admitted with uncertainty.

Ahsoka gritted her teeth. Her headache returned as Soza stood beside her.

"So, how's everything going?" Soza asked Ahsoka and Barriss.

"Now, Barriss!" Ahsoka ordered her best friend.

Barriss didn't react at first. But when she realized what Ahsoka wanted, she leaped up, knocking over her basin and spilling it all over Soza. Barriss then slapped a pair of binders around Soza's wrists.

"Alright, sleemo," Ahsoka snarled, "You're under arrest, spy!" she exclaimed.

Soza seemed shocked to have been discovered. "How did you figure it out?" she asked in disbelief?

"Every time you're near me, I have headaches," Ahsoka explained. She then Force-pulled a small box from under Soza's sleeve. "See, this is what she was using to send coded messages," Ahsoka added.

"But how did you know?" Soza asked, more irritated at being discovered.

"Simple, your ultrasonic messages were interfering with my sense of echolocation. That's what was giving me the headaches," Ahsoka replied with a grin.

"Senator Chuchi would be ashamed of you, traitor!" Barriss exclaimed in an uncharacteristically loud voice.

"Not all Pantorans agree with the Republic – or the Jedi!" Soza snapped back.

# # #

Back in the sauna room, Flark had returned to fetch Rex and Gree for their massage.

"Right this way, gentlemen. Rondo here will give you your massages," Flark announced as he directed the captains to a Rodian masseur.

Rex looked at the Rodian curiously. Something seemed amiss. Suddenly, Rex had a determined look on his face.

"Alright you Seppie, don't make another move!" Rex announced tersely.

"What? What are you talking about?" Rondo asked, unsure of Rex's reaction.

Rex grabbed a can of hair spray, much to the protest of the nearby stylist.

"Eat hairspray, sleemo!" Rex shouted as he sprayed the can's contents at Rondo.

The poor Rodian attempted to run away from his crazed client. It was to no avail, though, as Rex caught him and tackled him in front of the padawans.

# # #

As Barriss was preparing to take Soza to detention, she was interrupted by the sound of a loud crash. It was so loud that Ahsoka leaped right out of her chair with her lightsabers ignited.

"Commander Tano, I've caught the Seppie," Rex exclaimed proudly.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Rondo protested.

"That's what they all say!" Rex yelled back at his captive, ignoring the rack that was knocked over in the scuffle.

"Umm, Rexster," Ahsoka began, "he's **not** the spy. Barriss and I caught her ourselves," she informed him. Seeing there was no real danger, Ahsoka extinguished her lightsabers.

"And I would have gotten away with it, if not for this touchy little Togruta!" Soza retorted in disgust.

Rex blushed redder than Master Ti's skin to learn he had made a mistake. He slowly unbound Rondo and set him free.

"Sorry, sir," Rex apologized bluntly to Rondo. He turned to Ahsoka next. "Good job catching the real Seppie, though," he complimented her.

"That's it, I'd rather work for the Hutts. I quit!" Rondo uttered in frustration.

"Ahsoka, aren't you coming back with us?" Barriss asked. "We need to report back to the council," she reminded her best friend.

"Not until I get what I came here for!" Ahsoka stated emphatically.

Barriss just shrugged her shoulders.

"Rex, Gree, let's take this prisoner to detention," Barriss ordered the captains.

"Yes, ma'am!" both replied in unison. After a few seconds, they realized what they just did again and shared a laugh.

"Alright you Seppie, off you go!" Gree teased the detained Soza as he prodded her forward.

Ahsoka stayed to finish her treatment. Once she was ready to leave, the final bill shocked her.

"You want 50,259 credits for a manicure and a pedicure?!" she exclaimed in disbelief.

"Oh, the mani and pedi were 250 credits each. The other 49,759 is for the damages you and your friends caused," the cashier announced.

All Ahsoka could do was face-palm.

# # #

Anakin was waiting for Ahsoka when she finally returned to the temple.

"Hey, Snips, glad to see you finally decided to rejoin us," Anakin teased her.

"So, you heard?" Ahsoka inquired.

"Yeah. Good job catching that spy. Padmé – err, Senator Amidala – will be pleased," Anakin praised his padawan.

Anakin then noticed something. Ahsoka's fingernails had a small thin stripe of shiny silver polish on the tips.

"Twi'lek tips, huh? The senator does her nails that way, too," Anakin noted.

Ahsoka was about to ask why he paid so much attention to Padmé's nails, but figured she was better off **not** knowing.

"Umm, Master, can we go on a mission to Shili soon?" Ahsoka asked tentatively.

"Why do you want to do that?" Anakin replied suspiciously.

"Well, it would be a shame to have all my nails done and not be able to show them off," Ahsoka admitted. Her blue _lekku_ stripes darkened in embarrassment. Did she just say she wanted to go without her usual boots?

Anakin looked at Ahsoka rather intently.

"Who are you and what have you done to my padawan?" he asked suspiciously.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Even though the padawans caught the spy, I believe it still counts if the clone captains bring the captive back, right?

The idea for Ahsoka's headache comes from a plot in one of my non-published fics. I figured the effect could be put to good use here and make Ahsoka more valuable than she realized.

"Twi'lek tips" is my GFFA equivalent of French-tipped nails.

**Initial Posting Date: **2012-11-29.

**Revised:** 2012-11-29. Updated to reflect Gree's status as a Senior Commander. (Thanks, LLTC.)


End file.
